Wednesday, April 8, 2020

My Spouse and I Are Now Together 24-Hours a Day


Relationships with people with mental illness pose special challenges, and offer unique, positive surprises.  Like anything worth the effort, they take a bit of work.


When I met my wife I was upfront about my bipolar disorder.  I'd been through a number of rocky pairings and some big disappointments.  I thought, this time, I'll just tell her from the start and see what happens.

I told her to never let me use my mental illness as an excuse for bad behavior.  She asked me what she could do if I hit a difficult period.

It worked, and we've been together ever since.

Now we're together every minute of the day, shut in during the coronavirus crisis.  The secret to making this work has been, as it seems everything with mental illness management is, establishing a new, workable routine.

We have time to work and time to give each other space, and time to come together and explore new hobbies and interests.  We're rediscovering each other and reinforcing the fact that we made the right decision eleven years ago.

I've been reading and writing a lot about teletherapy lately, as it's the only option available for people right now when the stress of quarantine gets too big to handle alone.  We lean heavily on our partners at a time like this.  Realize that sometimes, a neutral disinterested voice, and ear, is necessary.

Our partners surely help us, but we shouldn't rely on them to help with all of our problems.  We have to work things out for ourselves, and sometimes seek help from outside the relationship.

Teletherapy offers this assistance and the new acceptance of it will be something that surely outlives the current crisis.

So thinking of both teletherapy and relationships, I went on TalkSpace's website and found this great article on relationships and bipolar disorder.  It is full of good advice and information that I urge you to share with your partner, especially right now as the new challenge of constant attention and lack of personal space challenges us all.


My book, Resilience: Handling Anxiety in a Time of Crisis is available now.


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