Stay Open

Here's the last of the posts from the introduction to the book I'm working on:

The fifth and final ground rule was the hardest for me to adopt:  Stay open to new ideas; don’t think you know it all.

I’ve always been very curious, so the new ideas part wasn’t too difficult.  In fact, sometimes my experience with mental illness made me very vulnerable to influences I may not have chosen on a better day.  While ramping up into a manic episode I’d adopt some new persona or fall into an interest or belief and go way overboard as I expressed my new lifestyle.  This has happened with things as varied as objectivism, liberation theology, and fly-fishing.  I’d go full into something to the exclusion of all else, only to drop it entirely as I settled down and recovered.

Oddly enough, all of these new personas were self-generated.  I ignored teachers and didn’t fall under the influence of others, other than what I read in books.  For the things I’m truly serious about, like Zen or economics, my knowledge would have come along so much more complete and reasoned if I sought a teacher early on. Instead, I thought I’d figure it all out myself.  Of course, I was always right.  Even when I was wrong.  I was an insufferable know-it-all.

Ideas I had would get knocked down and contradicted, but I held my ground.  Sometimes I was right after all.  But often I held on to erroneous thoughts for way too long. Especially erroneous thoughts and judgments about myself.  That’s no way to heal.

We benefit the most when we share with others, and nowhere is this more true than with ideas.  So many people have had shared experiences, and so many others have been in the past where you find yourself now.  Learn from them.  There’s always someone who knows more about a topic than you do who is worth listening to.  And diverse opinions, those very different from yours, will either help you shore up your beliefs or clue you in to where you are wrong.  The best intellects, the most successful people, are open and flexible.

While I encourage you to supplement your knowledge with words and examples from varied teachers, I don’t contradict myself by saying you should question everything they tell you. No one learns without inquiry. Learning is key to growing, so don’t take anything at face value, and don’t take anything for granted.  When you are absolutely sure you know everything about something, or if you’re under the influence of someone who acts like they do, it’s time to enter some doubt.  Ask tough questions about the things you’re most sure of.

We live in a world where it’s too easy to just reinforce your own beliefs and never give serious consideration to opposing views.  But if you’re so sure about everything, why are you still sick?  Remember, with little doubt comes little knowledge – with great doubt comes great knowledge.

I’m going to offer a lot of ideas to manage mental illness in the next few chapters.  But don’t take my word for it.  Try the practices and see how they work for you.  You’re going to have to execute them with attention if you’re going to find out if they help.  There’s a lot of advice in this book.  Take the advice that resonates with, and works for, you.  But try it all out, even if you’re sure it won’t work.  You might be surprised.

Be curious and never think you know it all.  You never know who you might learn from.